Craving cravings

So whether you’re thirsty or dehydrated, hormonal or pregnant, or your Yin/Yang is slightly imbalanced, we’re all animals of human nature who experience bewildering cravings.

It could be a Nutella-coated avocado with a side of humus, a slice of breaded ham slathered with cheese and honey mustard, or baked sweet potato skins drizzled in salt and Marmite, our body and mind has its unusual but common ways of probing us when it wants something.  It may take 101 trips to and from the fridge, hoping something new has appeared in the last 20 seconds, or a little extra WD-40 on the now dry hinges of the food cupboards, but eventually we’ll find something our cravings need to smugly settle, so they can lazily return to their rightful perch on our inner BarcaLounger.

Not only is it rightfully presumed that those with an eating disorder might not eat as much as another would, but one of my most prominent issues I have is the incapacity to deviate and incorporate food variety. Because I ignore(d) my body’s hunger for what felt like such prolonged periods of time, I sometimes feel as though I’ve destroyed my body’s ability to ever feeling satisfied after meals and it’s ability to distinguish what it is that I really want and need. The list of food options for what I am able to accept eating is so depleted that I’m sure my body is still yet to feel satisfied with what I’m fueling it with. When you’re unwillingly in such a restricted variety, it’s so difficult to ignore the routine you’ve created that it becomes a given that if I want a bite to eat, it can only mean I want an apple, an orange, a plum or another litre of lemon squash! As much as I absolutely adore a fresh, juicy, jazz apple; hand-picked from the shelves of Sainsbury’s, I’m sure my body could probably really do and feel much happier with a shortbread biscuit instead!

In regards to my food and drink incentives, I’m still currently so unable to listen to my body and instead still fixate on generally having the exact same thing, more often around the exact same time, every day. Not that I don’t enjoy the banana and bran flakes for breakfast; the banana, crackers and fruit for lunch and the Everest portion of vegetables for dinner every day, because I genuinely do!

No matter how unusual the craving may be, I know what a great day it will be when the hippocampus of my brain finally gets off its arse and I can once again be able to say “Hmmm, I could really do with one of Starbuck’s lemon and poppy-seed muffins on the side of a caramel latte”… and actually going ahead and doing it. You can feel privileged if you’re asked to accompany me.

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